Well what can I say?

Wes Cameron, just blew the field away this week in the Ted van Heemst Sartorial Stakes in a complete reveral of form.

It was only a few weeks ago that I said the Big Fella’ was going for the Kim Beazley award in fashion and so naturally this week the bookies had him at long odds, 33/1, in the TVH.

But as I have cautioned that consistent fashion plate, Jamie ‘Mabel’ Chadwick, sometimes a bold move is necessary and Wes had boldness in spades with his Rommel look.

The sand coloured suit was an absolute winner and only the Desert Fox ‘s famous goggles were missing on Wes. One of the jockeys could probably help him out next time he wears his Afrika Korps suit. (The German spelling is correct you dummkopf).

Not only that but the blue shirt combined with the ANC tie of bright yellow, black and green would have had Madiba (Nelson Mandela) himself applauding.

Speaking of great ones, TVH himself (grey pinstripe and mauve shirt) and ‘Mabel’ (classical in black and white and polished pate) filled the places.

My Sunday Times colleague, Julio Santarelli, and some others wanted to know why there was no results given on the TVH last week.

The reason is because of my colossal modesty and humility!

I was completely unanimous in awarding the TVH for May 12 to ……… myself.

Julio concurred (wise boy) although ‘Mabel’ thought he had won. He thinks he is the judge. You have to watch these marketing types they try and take over everything!

So why was I such a clear choice? I think it was the Thomas Pink shirt that did it. Pure class from the London shirt maker saw me wearing the black, white and cerise stripes plus matching cerise tie, to go with the black pinstripe suit with hat.

So why was I wearing a suit given that I don’t work for The West Australian or Perth Racing?

Well the true story is that on that particular day, May 12, I was going from the races to a function for a visiting US historian.

Of course if you believe Santarelli, or that other idle youth, Matt Nowland, I was on the prowl? “Who is she?” both miscreants demanded.

This is what you get from making an effort.

However, my influence on racing is truly profound. On Saturday guess who was wearing a suit with a cerise black and white striped shirt? Santarelli, of course, and if had worn a tie he would have been a contender in the TVH.

As for Nowland he forgets at one of the last Ascot meetings I saw him kissing a blonde on the lawn adjacent to the winning post!

Who does he think he is? Jarrad Noske? The Turquoise One started this trend when he leant over the fence, after a race, and kissed an absolute cracker wearing a beige mini-skirt.

I mean we may as well get Rodin’s famous marble sculpture ‘The Kiss’ and display it on the lawns so they can all have a go –like a wishing well.

I have let the new CEO, Stephen Wicks, settle in for a few weeks but soon I will be approaching him to clean up this veritable Sodom and Gomorrah.

Speaking about famous art I still want to know what has happened to the Ice Keg, which emulated Mannekin Pis by spraying Wes on a hot day in late April. This

racing icon should be on permanent display (the keg not Wes who come to think of it is always on display).

Probably the old CEO,Michael Heath, has taken it with him to his new job with the St Ives group as a permanent reminder of the mirth of racing.

Could be an investigation job for Phil O’Reilly?

I think my cerise and black colour scheme has also caught on with the ladies as on Saturday I spied a delightful leggy brunette with black singlet top and a cerise mini that probably just had enough material in it to give Jamie Chadwick a winning tie for next week if he makes her an offer (for the skirt, you fool).

A century ago, Edwardian then Georgian, society considered the exposure of female ankles as very daring.

Ironically one of the few areas covered by our comely Miss Cerise on Saturday was her fetlocks –she was wearing black bootlets that covered both her ankles!

Speaking of shoes I’m thinking of wearing spats next week-it is time that the Stanley Melbourne Bruce look returned to high fashion.

20 May 2012 John Elsegood